Lyrics

The Earth was shipped in a cellophane wrapper
To a godlike kid by galactic courier
He'd placed an order from the back of a comic book
He'd read when he should've been in school
He had a project due in his socio-anthro-
Eco-geo-bio and creationism course
That he should've been working on instead of playing games
With his gang of omnipotent pals
The project was due in a hundred thousand years
Which can hardly be construed as enough time
To populate a planet with intelligent beings
Who can live in a self-sustaining way
But he saw in the comic book an ad for a planet
With a species on the brink of developing intelligence
That could be shipped in a cellophane wrapper
And he thought, it's my ticket to an A!
Now it might seem to you like a hundred thousand years
Is a long time, but if you just consider
That the kid with the comic book would see a hundred thousand
Years pass like the twinkle of a star
So the kid put the Earth on his desk in his bedroom
Underneath a heat lamp that he kept on a timer
On his walls he had made constellations
That were stars that could glow in the dark
And he worked as the species on the brink of intelligence
Grew, found fire, built bombs and exploded them
He cried when he learned the killing was so often
Interspersed with the praising of his name
So the kid with the comic book turned on the heatlamp
Took a magnifying glass from his leftmost cupboard
And looked to the Earth, picked a symbolic bush
And focused, and set it on fire
And when the bush was burning the people got the message
And the leaders agreed to take responsibility
And base their actions on accountability
And promise that they'd try to get along
So the kid took the Earth to his teacher, who looked
And saw good work and the room for improvement
Not a bad first try, B plus, and excitement
For your many more creations still to come
And now the Earth lies wrapped in bubble-wrap there
On the floor of the closet of the kid with the comic book
His mother checks in every now and then
To ensure that things will work out in the end
And so everything will work out in the end